Weekend wrap-up…and gastric distress

Good evening groovy guys and gals. I hope everyone has had a restful weekend and is feeling PUMPED to take on the week tomorrow.

So pumped…

On balance, I had a delightful weekend. I ran, I swam, I bought some things and I learned some things. Come along with me and I’ll give you a run down of the high points, low points, and talking points.

Saturday morning started out with a 20.8 mile run. This was my last long run leading up to the marathon I am running for the Seattle Humane Society on May 4th. I would love to write that this run was amazing. I want to wax poetic about finding my flow two miles in and riding a cloud of endorphins the entire way. I wish I could say that the last run of my peak training week was the best run I have had all year…

But that would make me a liar…marathonsam may do many strange things, but he will NOT lie to his readers. Saturday’s run was BRUTAL. The first 15 miles were pretty typical, pleasant even. However,  the end of the run and the last three miles in particular tested my mental tenacity, my gastrointestinal system, my sphincter control, and at some points my faith in humanity.

I was so optimistic when I was heading out to door….little did I know

Warning: the next few sentences of this blog are mostly going to be about my large and small intestines. I’m a runner. Runners are gross. You have been warned. If you find discussion of digestive issues objectionable, I’m sorry. Maybe you’d like to look at a picture of some pygmy goats instead.

If you’d like another perspective on gastric distress while running I MUST recommend this hilarious article by one of my favorite running bloggers at the website: shutupandrun.net. I recommend her entire blog in general, her posts about ironman training, life, and the wacky things runners do always educate me and make me laugh. Runner’s World has another good article about GI distress in runners.  This is a problem that a lot of us cope with…
OK- I’ve danced around the story long enough, let’s get right into it. On Saturday’s run I decided to try out a new flavor of energy gel.
This flavor….this is the little packet that tried to END me
The internet is FULL of articles admonishing marathoners against trying anything new on race day. I am smart enough to have read those articles, this weekend’s run seemed like a fine time to try out this new flavor of Gu. I was optimistic going into it. I know that some other Gu flavors work well for me, and I LOVE salted caramel gelato.
This place is the GREATEST!
I was wrong. I was OH so terribly wrong. I ate the gel about 10 miles in. That packet is supposed to contain 100 grams of carbohydrates in the form of 70% malodextrin, and 30% fructose, with a little bit of leucine and electrolytes thrown in there for good measure. I must have gotten a bad batch because, according to how my stomach felt, apparently my Gu packet also contained a kilogram of yellowcake uranium and a whack-a-mole machine.
This game is so FUN until it is happening in your colon
15 miles into the run I started to feel just generally not-so-right. I thought about Chi Running, and focused on making sure I was running with proper form. That had me feeling better for about a mile. Then I started noticing my stomach…not any specific pain, I suddenly just became VERY aware of my entire midsection. I shook out my arms, and started focusing on my breath to distract myself. Those tactics worked pretty well, for a little bit.
Then things started gurgling.
I have a new affinity for Mt. St. Helens
At mile 18 I started feeling bad. At mile 19 I felt wretched. Frankly, I was tempted to stop, but by that point finishing the running was the quickest way home.

I think that that is all I need to say about gastric distress and digestive issues. Thank you for listening. I hope with all my heart it doesn’t happen to you. However: that which does not kill us makes us stronger…and I will NOT be buying the Salted Caramel flavor of Gu again. I’l stick with my old reliables.

Here’s a picture of a Llama so that we can put this episode behind us.

The rest of the weekend was great! We had a retreat for a training grant that I am on. I presented a poster and heard some interesting talks.

I have GOT to make a new poster, I have so much more data…
Lunch break at the retreat.
More posters from the retreat

I went to a nice wine shop to pick up a bottle of Beaujolais that Eric Asimov recommended.

This place is great! One of the faculty members in my department is a co-owner
Regular readers (Hi Mom! Hi Lori!) will remember that one of my goals for april is to drink more wine, and that I have decided to drink along with Eric Asimov’s wine school series of articles in the New York Times. I haven’t tried the bottle I bought yet, it’s sitting in my wine rack waiting for the right occasion to open and sample it.
Who wants to come to wine school with me?
I also attempted to make some headway on the tragic state of my yard this weekend.
You can take the blogger out of the wilderness, but you can’t take the wilderness out of the blogger…or his lawn
I think that the crop-circle/UFO landing zone will make an excellent spot for a fire pit!

I acquired a Weed-Eater in an attempt to make my house look a little less white-trash paradise.

and made myself look a little bit white-trash paradise in the process.

Unfortunately,  I only ate the weeds in about a quarter of my yard before I managed to lose the little bolt that keeps the guard attached to the violently spinning rotor. I also realized that I need to buy a rake. It looks like another trip to the hardware store is in my future, but for now I think I’ll put this blog post and this runner to bed.

I like this place

Have a great week everyone!

What were the highlights of YOUR weekend?

6 thoughts on “Weekend wrap-up…and gastric distress

Add yours

  1. Hi Sam!This post is a perfect example of irony and timing! I told Teagen (our Magnolia neighbor) that she should read your blog because she happens to also love bacteria, and it turns out you are posting about GI problems! Hahaa! Well, she does also like pygmy goats (or any other animal) so I guess there's that for her. :) Although, I suppose GI problems could very well be bacteria issues as well, so a WIN-WIN all the way around, I'd say!

    And losing the bolt part way through….Yeah, I don't know anyone else who would have such luck. But what an adorable little local hardware store you have there. Maybe they sell shower curtains.

    Your devoted follower (is there a word for a blog fan? Blan? Blofan? Fog?)


    1. I didn’t know Teegan was into Bacteria! I know she’s a major animal lover. Do we have another budding scientist from the neighborhood? That is awesome! How is Teegan doing? I remember she used to dog-sit for us all of the time.

      I think the GI issues weren’t bacterially related…I blame that effing gu! It sounded so delicious…Do you use gels when you are out on long rides? What do you like? I know that I need the calories when I’m on the run, but so many of them are just revolting.

      I don’t know if there’s a special word for blog-fan…could we just call each other friends and neighbors? I guess not so much neighbors anymore. I like social media because we can chat “over-the-fence” from 1000 miles away.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: